Understanding the Dark Night of the Soul of the Leader

It’s common for Christians in their faith journey to go through times of spiritual dryness.  Many try to move through this experience by changing their spiritual rhythm, adding spiritual disciplines, or engaging in new, uncharted ministries.  Sometimes, these movements of action provide water to the soul and the pilgrim moves on on his or her journey.

Sometimes these attempts to bring new water and fire into the spiritual life only add to the confusion and sense of disorientation.  Well meaning brothers and sisters in Christ make recommendations– have you tried inner healing prayer?  What about the Bible in a year? No, you’re moving too fast.  Join this group.  Make a rule of life.  Expand the ministry, company, organization.  Quit all of them.  Double down on your spiritual disciplines.  Go to this retreat, this conference, this monastery.

Sadly, most of these pieces of advice will not likely be helpful in the way the pilgrim longs for.  Dark Nights of the Soul cannot be managed by the will and action of the pilgrim.  In seasons like this, the pilgrim is invited into a deeper experience of faith and dependence on God as the invitations of God become more subtle, lighter, and more challenging.  God is doing something different and it often requires a discerning and trained guide to navigate the terrain of this new wilderness.

If you think you might be in a Dark Night experience, reflect on the following questions to help you locate yourself.  Place a check next to any that resonate with your experience.

• I find myself feeling spiritually dry.

• I don’t enjoy church services in the ways I once did.

• I am not experiencing the same kind of joy in my work as I once did.

• I am experiencing disappointment in my vocation.

• I am feeling disappointment in my relationships

• I have been trying to “fix” this, but I haven’t been able to.

• I feel like I am faking my spiritual life.

• I keep creating new things (ministries, businesses, etc.) but I don’t feel the joy I once did in this.

• The organization I lead is struggling and I don’t feel like I have what it takes to keep going.

• The organization I lead is flourishing and I don’t feel like I have what it takes to keep going.

• I find myself longing for earlier seasons of life when I had meaningful spiritual

• I find myself feeling a sense of shame and accusation.

• I am noticing temptations out of my integrity.

• I am having a hard time saying no when I feel like it will disappoint people.

• I wish others showed me more compassion.

• I wish people understood how hard I am working.

• I wish God would show me He sees me.

• I don’t know if God cares if I am happy.

• God just wants to use me.

• I can’t tell if God is happy with me.

• I know God loves me, but I can’t feel it

• I am having doubts about God

• I have a lot more questions about my faith than I used to.

• I am not sure what I can expect from God.

• I am having trouble feeling confident about where God is leading me.